I Killed the Deal in the Parking Lot.
- Nick Smith
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
I killed the deal in the parking lot.
It wasn't something I said in the meeting. It was the energy I carried out of the car. I walked in with "commission breath," that desperate, metallic scent of someone who needs the win more than they want to serve the human across the table. I was operating entirely from my Small Self. I was a "Pavement Pirate," looking to loot a wallet rather than guide a soul.
I lost.
I sat in my car afterward, staring at the steering wheel, realizing that my charisma was writing checks my character couldn't cash. I had no framework. I had no floor.
Just chaos.
The physicist Rudolf Clausius gave us the concept of entropy. It is the second law of thermodynamics, stating that closed systems inevitably degenerate into disorder. Left to its own devices, nature seeks chaos. My sales career was a closed system. I was relying on instinct, on the "gift of gab," and because of that, I was slowly dissolving into disorder.
If you have ever felt that slide into professional mediocrity, you know how heavy it feels.
I realized I didn't need more tactics. I needed a container. I needed what I call the 8 Ps of Professionalism. Not as a checklist to memorize, but as a physiological reset button.
My struggle began with the first P: Psychology.
I realized my psychology was rooted in scarcity. Leaders describe this perfectly. "Neediness is Creepiness." My need for the sale was triggering a biological defense mechanism in my prospects. Neuroscience tells us that mirror neurons do not just reflect actions; they reflect intentions. When I walked in hungry, my prospect’s brain lit up with a threat response. I wasn't a partner. I was a predator.
I had to excise the need.
Then there was Planning. I hated this. I wanted to flow, to improvise. But improvisation without structure is just noise. I looked at the ICCAA framework—Identify, Clarify, Commit, Act, Adjust—and realized I had been skipping the first three steps for a decade. I was acting without clarity. I was moving without a map.
It felt like walking through a dark room full of furniture.
The third failure was Product. Not the features, but the "Self-Efficacy." The files speak of "context-specific knowledge." I realized I didn't know my craft well enough to be detached. I was anxious because I was ignorant. If you don't know the answer to 80% of the questions before they are asked, you cannot be present. You are too busy panicking.
I had to do the reading.
And finally, Performance. This hit the hardest. The goal is to be "Atypical." To provide an experience so low-pressure and high-value that it "ruins" the client for any other salesperson. I was typical. I was average. I was part of the noise.
We look at the word Professional and we think of a suit or a tie. But looking at the etymology changes the texture of the word. It comes from the Latin profiteri, which means "to declare publicly." It has religious roots. To "profess" a vow.
A professional is not someone who gets paid. A professional is someone who has made a public vow to a standard.
I had made no vows. I was just transaction-hunting.
The foundational reframe transforming my life is that structure is not the enemy of freedom.
Structure is the prerequisite for it. The 8 Ps are not a cage. They are the trellis that allows the vine of the Giant Self to grow upward, toward the light, rather than crawling along the dirt.
I am done playing small.
This is the practice.
Am I brave enough to detach from the outcome and marry the process?
Follow along as I continue to walk this path.
I explore this in the 12 Journeys of Detached Professional Selling.
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